Four Steps to Facing the Fear

 

Unidos MN underwrote a project with Minnesota Women’s Press that enabled us to create a 28-page magazine, in English and Spanish, about constitutional rights, especially impacting immigrants and allies who stand up against unlawful detentions and deportations. Future translations are expected in Creole and Ukrainian.

a conversation with Rabbi Marcia Zimmerman, Temple Israel, Minneapolis

Step 1: Deliberately Engage With Others

A lot of people are feeling isolated, afraid, or powerless. That is why connection and community are so important — isolating is the worst thing we can do when we’re fearful. It seems to be the human response, on some psychological level, to disengage and detach because of fear.

Elections and administrations have come and gone. Our synagogue is 145 years old. We continue to stand for the words outside the doors of our building from Isaiah: “This house will be a house of prayer for all people.” The idea is that we are here to create community, that interfaith dialogue is crucial, that we believe in people’s dignity and justice. We believe in mercy.

It sometimes takes a lot of energy to be in community. But it is the antidote to fear. When you isolate out of fear, you don’t see the connections of a web of people who want to be allies and connectors.

Fear is based on the idea of feeling powerless and disconnected — and wanting others to feel that fear in the face of authority.

Step 2: Find Faith, However You Word It

Faith is the next piece, which is different things for different people. I am Jewish. I believe in God. It helps me be able to see beyond human beings.

In all religious traditions, the highest values that we share are making sure that we do good and help others. It is what binds us together. Each of us has a language for how we do that. In Judaism, for example, it says we were strangers in the land of Egypt, therefore we welcome the stranger.

In the Torah, the Five Books of Moses, there is the idea “love your neighbor as yourself.” If you don’t love yourself, you’re not going to love another human being. Our view of other people often is a projection of our own. Blaming the immigrant is a projection of the person’s inability to deal with their own fragile inclusion in community.

Self-hatred has destroyed communities, societies, and cultures. Self-hatred is an ugly mess. Finding somebody to blame or be “the other” is never the solution to your own problems. It’s what children do; it’s not what adults should do.

Step 3: Acknowledge the Complexities of Humans

There is a statistic about married couples  —  that  they  have  some kind of misunderstanding about ten times in a day. This is the most constant person in your life, yet you have misunderstandings all the time. But you also have a commitment to work on those misunderstandings and figure out how to find your way back to each other. In general, I think we have lost our capacity to do that and also to sacrifice for a larger whole.

We don’t have to agree, but we have to see the humanity in people, even if they don’t see our humanity. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Not to see the humanity in others is childlike and narcissistic.

Step 4: Create Healthy Group Dynamics

Tavistock researchers looked at group dynamics from a psychoanalytic perspective, especially after World War Two. We need to understand group dynamics so that the relationships stick. Even if we don’t agree on the response, we can get there if the relationship is intact. So, the group dynamic also needs to be attended to. Making alliances takes time.

There is a famous poem by a priest during the Holocaust that tell us: for those who might not feel targeted at the moment, don’t think it ends there, because it will not stop. It doesn’t stop with the immigrant. It doesn’t stop with trans people.

If people want to put into law something that takes away my basic human rights, I’ll fight them. I can still see their humanity, but I will fight for rights and justice and mercy. Today, our collective voices need to fight laws that are not just. We have to join hands and be single- minded about that.

What ultimately wins the day is how we came together. So let’s be that story. Let’s be that narrative. Let’s be the example, so that other people can feel empowered and inspired.

 

Family Preparedness Plan

 

1. Talk with your family and trusted friends about what to do if someone is detained. Make sure everyone knows who to contact for legal help and where important documents are kept. Choose a trusted person who can make decisions for you if needed.

 

2. If you have children, make a plan for who will care for them in an emergency.

• Choose a Temporary Guardian – Select a trusted adult who can take care of your child if needed.

• Write a Guardianship Letter – This gives someone permission to care for your child temporarily.

• Inform the School or Daycare – Provide emergency contact information and let them know who is allowed to pick up your child.

• Keep a Care Plan – Write down allergies, medications, daily routines, and anything a caregiver needs to know about your child.

• Prepare an Emergency Contact Card – Give one to your child with names and phone numbers in case they need to call someone for help.

 

3. Gather all essential paperwork in one place and store it in a plastic folder. Share an additional copy with someone you trust.

Identification Documents

• Passport or consular ID

• Work permit or visa (if available)

• Driver’s license or state ID

• Birth certificate

• Social Security card or ITIN

• A-number (Alien Registration Number) and any immigration documents

 

Family & School Records

• Marriage certificate (if applicable)

• School records and emergency contact forms for children

• List of medications & doctors (especially for children)

• Restraining orders (if applicable)

• Immunization records

• Records proving residency and physical presence in the U.S.

 

Financial Documents

• Lease or mortgage paperwork

• Car title or vehicle registration

• Bank account information

• Medical insurance cards and health records