Care for the caregiver OnYourMind: Heather Reynolds reminds caregivers to care for themselves as well as others
Heather Reynolds
by Heather Reynolds
I hear it all the time in my profession: tired, worn-out women on the phone saying that they just don't know what else to do, how to squeeze one more second out of the day, one more ounce of energy out of themselves. They are career women, mothers, partners, people with their own dreams. And now they are finding themselves as caregivers-parents to their own parents. Something has got to give.
I have learned that, on average, you:
• are a 46-year-old female, married and working outside the home
• spend as much as 50 percent more time providing care than male caregivers
• may have passed up a job promotion, training or assignment to fulfill caregiving duties.
Few people are fully prepared for the conflicting emotional challenges that caregiving can place upon them-from joy to sadness, anger, frustration, a sense of loss for a loved one's declining health and your own personal losses: (friends, time or job loss). It's not uncommon to have guilt while trying to juggle personal wants and needs, the needs of our families as well as the needs of the person being caring for.
While this may not have been how we saw our life unfolding, it can still become a journey with many rewards. We need to take time to make that happen, and to be good to ourselves in the process:
• Take care of yourself by watching for signs of depression and seeking professional help when needed
• Accept help when others offer it-have a list ready of what other people can do to help you, and say YES!
• Educate yourself on your loved one's illness
• Seek support from other caregivers and support groups
• Eat well and exercise
• Carve out quiet time for yourself each day to do something just for you
• Be patient with yourself
It's OK to grieve losses and to dream new dreams. We inevitably learn as much about ourselves as our loved ones in the process of caring for them.
Heather Reynolds lives in St. Paul and is a Certified Senior Advisor and program manager for At Home Solutions, Inc. www.athomesolutionsllc.com
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Reader Comments
Posted: Friday, March 19, 2010
Article comment by:
Karen Gurney
So many of us would not be tired and worn out if we could find the time (& energy) to follow this fine advice about caring for yourself. When & how?
