Minnesota Women's Press | St. Paul, MN

U of M Cont Educ TopBanner 7-2015

home : readerswrite : bookshelf May 26, 2016

Happily ever after reclaimed
"I wished for a fairy godmother to wave her magic wand and unearth my precious voice. In her wisdom, she left that job to me."

by Barb Greenberg

Once upon a time I came to the painful realization that during my marriage I had lost my voice, and with it, the ability to speak my truth. Unfortunately, I had learned at an early age to be silent. I hoped finding my voice would be like finding my car keys at the bottom of my purse or the sunglasses I'd forgotten were resting on top of my head.

After endless searches, I understood my voice wasn't lost. It was hidden. I had buried it deep inside my heart to protect it from being battered and attacked.

Sometimes I could hear it whisper to me. But as the years went by and the racket of daily life increased, soon I could hear nothing. I ached, sensing I'd lost touch with a vital piece of myself and not remembering what it was.

My spirit faded. I felt unsettled and anxious. I believed I was powerless and stopped trusting myself. And I struggled with the desperate desire to look for other people or material things to define me.

I wished for a fairy godmother to wave her magic wand and unearth my precious voice. In her wisdom, she left that job to me. This excavation took tremendous patience and all my courage. In the past, if I spoke my truth, I felt I would be abandoned. I now saw that by silencing my voice, I was the one who had abandoned myself.

Determined never to let this happen again, I did my best to ignore the racket in my head and listen to the compassionate whispering of my heart. There was great power in this simple act. The more I listened, the stronger my voice became, and soon I had the strength to act on what I heard.

TCPride.KathyGriffin.InContentTile 5-2016

I left my marriage of 33 years and moved into a small apartment. It was a painful and frightening time. I grieved the loss of what I had believed would be a fairy tale happy ending to my story. Often I would return to this new home, drop my keys on the table and sigh mournfully, "I'm all alone in this little apartment."

Then one morning I awoke, stretched out my arms and proclaimed, "I'm all alone in this little apartment!"

Maybe finding our voice is a little like finding our car keys and sunglasses. We can get behind the wheel of a new life, protect our eyes from any harsh glares, and start down the road, singing to the radio as we travel to reclaim our own brilliant happily ever after.

Barb Greenberg, Eden Prairie, is the author of "After the Ball: A Woman's Tale of Reclaiming Happily Ever After." www.barbgreenberg.com

Barb Greenberg recommends these books by women for finding voice and reclaiming self:

Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott
Sacred Contracts by Caroline Myss
Circle of Stones by Judith Duerk
A Woman's Worth by Marianne Williamson

What's on your bookshelf?
Send us 450 words about your booklife, plus your list of four to five related books by women authors, to editor@womenspress.com.

Reader Comments

Posted: Monday, February 6, 2012
Article comment by: Joan Holman

Barb Greenberg's book "After the Ball: A Woman's Tale of Reclaiming Happily Ever After" is beautifully illustrated with classic art and packaged as a lovely little gift book. It is written as a fairy tale with Cinderella and Snow White as good girlfriends who turn to each other in friendship when their Prince Charming does not turn out to be what they thought he was going to be.

You can purchase the book at http://www.rosepathpress.com

Posted: Thursday, January 26, 2012
Article comment by: Becky Henry

Wonderful and inspiring article about a brave trailblazer. I hope all women who are divorcing or divorced can learn from Barb and reclaim their own happiness.
Becky Henry

Posted: Thursday, January 26, 2012
Article comment by: Lynn Garthwaite

What a wonderful reminder that we can't allow ourselves to give away everything. It is imperative to honor who we are and cherish ourselves when others around us may not. Thanks for being such a beacon Barb.

Posted: Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Article comment by: Joyce Rosenblad

This article really resonated with me as I have struggled to find my voice in the past when involved in unhealthy relationships and wondered if I would ever feel truly like myself again. Yes, it's a painful journey, but so worth each and every bump along the road. Thank you, Barb, for sharing your inspiring story and helping other women find the courage to reclaim their own voice.

Posted: Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Article comment by: Peg Cowart

What an uplifting story. This holds true for every women single, divorced, married or in a relationship. I can relate to the "if I spoke my truth, I felt I would be abandoned" feeling. It feels good to let yourself be heard. So go forth and breath in life and be true to yourself first and foremost! Thank you Barb for voicing your journey!

Article Comment Submission Form
Please feel free to submit your comments.

Article comments are not posted immediately to the Web site. Each submission must be approved by the Web site editor, who may edit content for appropriateness. There may be a delay of 24-48 hours for any submission while the web site editor reviews and approves it.

Note: All information on this form is required. Your telephone number is for our use only, and will not be attached to your comment.
Submit an Article Comment
First Name:
Last Name:
Anti-SPAM Passcode Click here to see a new mix of characters.
This is an anti-SPAM device. It is not case sensitive.

Advanced Search

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30 31        

U of M Cont Educ ROS banner 7-2015

Home | Features | Commentary | ReadersWrite | e-Edition | Get A Copy | Calendar | Classifieds | Advertise | Women's Directory | BookWomen | Extras | Life
Minnesota Women's Press, Inc., 651-646-3968
Site Design and Content
Copyright 2016

Software © 1998-2016 1up! Software, All Rights Reserved