Freeing haircut YourStory: Nou Yang writes about the consequences of getting her hair cut
My dad and I are so alike, whether he knows that or not. We are both so passionate towards our values. The difference is we each have different values.
- Nou Yang
by Nou Yang
I wanted to let go of all the grudges and hatred I had hidden within me. I wanted the weight off of my head. I needed a haircut, cutting away my long, dark, wavy hair that hides the oppression of a Hmong girl who was told to not speak or question her oppressors.
In the Hmong culture a woman's hair is supposed to symbolize her beauty. Having long hair was the right thing to do according to the elders. I couldn't understand why people would judge you according to your hair. What is seen as beauty in my own culture is what is keeping me down from all the things I want to explore.
My sisters and I agreed that this is oppression and prejudice. We decided to cut our hair. We went to the salon with all our collective pride, but who knew there were going to be serious consequences for this choice of ours.
Every snip of the scissors through my hair made me feel better. The haircut felt as good as if I had just won the lottery. I was so happy and my head felt so light. My hair had been waiting for so long just for this cut. Then I finally felt like breathing again. Every deep breath I took made me feel better, a lot better.
With my new haircut I knew that I was going to do better on the finals at school. I knew it was going to help me adopt tons of good stuff into my lifestyle. I was studying when my brother called to me. I skipped joyfully to the living room. All of a sudden both of my feet felt a cold tension. Everyone in the family was there including two my male cousins. All of their eyes were on me. I was confused, feeling like I'd just committed a crime. Their glaring eyes made me nervous, more nervous than forgetting to study for a math test.
My father began the conversation of shame. I wanted to cover my ears. After humiliating me in front of all these people, he repeated himself over and over: Why did you cut your hair? And though I told him over and over again it was because I wanted to let go of the past and move on, he just didn't understand me.
My father was like "Tus Dej Nav Nqhoom"(Mekong River) and I was Mississippi River. Our connection is through the oceans that separate us. We were on two different sides of the world.
Anger took over the scene and with the blink of an eye I was lying cold on the old wooden floor. Tears filled my father's eyes and mine. He looked at me in the eyes, and said, "Never call me father again." My mom and grandma kept saying: "Just apologize to your father, Nou." But I knew that even if I had apologized it wouldn't mean a thing to him or me. I didn't understand why I had to apologize for what I did that was the best for me. I was as stubborn as this man.
My dad and I are so alike, whether he knows that or not. We are both so passionate towards our values. The difference is we each have different values.
I'm proud of myself for letting go of the fire that I've had inside of me. But in cutting my hair, I've freed myself from the oppression that has brought me down. And even though my dad and I still need to find a way to work things out between us, I now understand our similarities. When he looks into my eyes I know that he sees himself because I know when I look into his eyes, I can see me.
I'm a stronger person because of that incident. I know now that people don't just make dramatic choices about change because they want to but because they have no other choice. Nou Yang is a second-year Power Of You student at Minneapolis Community and Technical College and lives in north Minneapolis.
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Reader Comments
Posted: Friday, March 05, 2010
Article comment by:
jerome clark
I enjoyed your article very much. I think it took alot of courage to stand up to your family. Some traditions are better left in the past. Thanks.
