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Older, wiser

LaughingMatters: Anne Noonan has learned at least 20 important things in her 40 years

by Anne Noonan

I'm now 40. I thought I would know more about big topics like world history, the characters in Greek mythology, or the implications of space travel. But instead I've learned things like this:

1. If, the first time you wear new shoes, they cut up your feet and make you bleed, they will do the same thing the second time. You don't need to repeat the process to find out.

2. If you say you're going to show up, show up.

3. Always ask how much your haircut costs before you get your hair cut.

4. If you know anyone who consistently makes you laugh, make sure this person stays in your life.

5. Personal projects are often least appreciated by the people you think will appreciate them the most.

6. Always carry some cash.

7. Baths are the cheapest form of relaxation.

8. Traveling is expensive and eats up your vacation. Only do it with people you are certain will be enjoyable company.

9. Seamless bras are underrated.

10. The term "BYOB" should no longer be in your vocabulary.

11. Forgiving yourself for the embarrassing things you did when you were younger-and then letting the memories go-is OK.

12. If the man working at the makeup counter looks prettier than you do, move on to a different makeup counter.

13. Keeping a deck of cards in your purse is surprisingly useful.

14. A full-body massage means just that. You will need to specify if you want sections to be off-limits.

15. Cropped pants are not flattering.

16. If timeworn photos and mementos make you feel bad every time you look at them, chuck 'em.

17. If you find a lipstick you love, buy 10. You never know when it will be discontinued.

18. Venting to friends is helpful; pure gossiping makes you feel rotten.

19. Make your bedtime reading lighthearted.

20. Always file your nails before putting on nylons.

Anne Noonan is a graduate of Gustavus Adolphus College and works as a copywriter in the Twin Cities. She lives in Orono, Minn.

LaughingMatters: You bet it does! Who said feminists can't be funny? 450 words maximum. Email to editor@womenspress.com or to see complete guidelines for reader submissions go to www.womenspress.com and click on "About us."

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Reader Comments

Posted: Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Article comment by: Linda Madden

Anne is a friend who is so fun to be around (see item #4). I always learn something from her when we're together...and I'm WAY older than she is! Thanks for the fun read. I hope she can compile another list for your readers.

Posted: Thursday, November 19, 2009
Article comment by: Jeannette Erickson

Coming from the far side of 40, I can assure you that your observations only become truer as time goes by. I am sure that you learned much of this from your Mom.
She must be very proud that you listened and heeded her wisdom. Do I sound just like the Mom that I am? GOOD WORK!!! I am looking forward to your next publication.
Love Kersten's Mom

Posted: Friday, November 13, 2009
Article comment by: Lynn Tibbets

Love this article! It reaffirms the little things we learn & practice in life do make a huge difference. Thanks to the writer for taking the time to notice and put these in writing. I will carry it in my purse (along with a deck of cards)!

Posted: Saturday, November 7, 2009
Article comment by: Kersten Terry

The "Older & Wiser" piece is oh, so true. It is the smaller things that make us wiser with age. Too bad for me, at 40, that while I appreciate a seamless bra, I don't always manage to carry cash. Maybe I will turn over a new leaf by 50?

Posted: Monday, November 2, 2009
Article comment by: Debbie kuehn

Anne's insights, while extremely funny, are also very practical and so true. Her writing is wonderfully precise yet light-hearted and inspirational. Hope we see more of her in this publication!

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